The Fear

I've been meaning to write this blog for about 2 weeks, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet-- tonight, I'm finally sitting down to write it and I feel like I've forgotten all the big things I wanted to say. No matter, though. I've got bits and pieces of what I want to say.

There's this great episode of Friends (maybe you've seen it recently now that they're all on Netflix) where Rachel is unhappy with her position in life (being a waitress & serving other people coffee), and the friends convince her that she has to quit in order to "get The Fear." That becomes her mantra-- "I've gotta get the fear, I've gotta get the fear!" And she quits-- and she gets the fear!

Now, I definitely know what kind of fear they're talking about--that 'holy crap, what am I going to do, I have to pay bills and survive, so I have to find a better position in life'! But, I kind of want to talk about a different kind of fear.  I've posted about fear before, but that was more tangible (if not irrational) fear (read it here) or phobia. Something more easily defined, at least. I see paper shreddings and I freak out. Pretty straightforward.

But fear in general-- this nebulous cloud hanging over me in a very Eeyore-esque way--I feel like I've been experiencing my whole life. I've always been scared-- I've been scared of people, places, things (especially new ones), of new experiences, of leaving my comfort zone. I've been like this for as long as I can remember-- I feel like I've always had The Fear.  I don't need to quit a job without a backup plan to get it.

...And that's not exactly what I did, but I did take a big step out of a comfort zone that I spent nearly three years creating.  I started a new job on Monday--and I am excited, nervous, happy, scared, sad--just a myriad of emotions have been washing over me since even before I made the decision.  And after I made the decision, I spent the time directly after wringing my hands and yammering about my myriad of emotions.  

There were so many reasons I didn't want to take this chance--but the biggest reason was fear, that little piggy that's been on my back for as long as I can remember.  Eventually, I decided that I didn't want to let The Fear make yet another decision for me.  As much as I like to deny it, or pretend it isn't true, the simple fact of the matter is that fear has ruled so many decisions in my life (I didn't go to law school because of fear; I didn't go to journalism school because of fear), and I finally took fear's power away-- at least for this particular decision.

I decided it's time to stop asking but what if it doesn't work out? And instead ask but what if it does?

So, that's where I am now.  I have had a big week--I started a new job, joined a soccer team, bought a new wardrobe.  I'll probably always have The Fear, if I'm totally honest with myself, but the decisions I made this past week have taught me that I can ignore The Fear.  I can relegate The Fear to the back of my mind--ignore the little voice that says you can't, and replace my decidedly Eeyore/Piglet like thoughts with a few Winnie the Pooh ones, instead.

DIY Bridal Party Notebook Tutorial

DIY Wedding Party Notebook Tutorial

Okay, so, this is the easiest thing in the world.  So easy, in fact, that I do not think it should be called a Tutorial.  But, it's my blog, and I can do what I want.

Anyway, for those who don't know, I like to make lists.  I like to make grocery lists, packing lists, outfit lists, lists at work, etc., etc. They help me stay organized.  Also, for those who don't know, I'm getting married soon. In fact, it's in just a little over 5 months.

So, needless to say, I've been making a lot of lists lately. And, recently, I found these old used Moleskine notebooks I bought, and ripped the pages out, and decided to make my own little book! I had visions of writing my little lists in it, making the cover all cute, etc. But, the Becky Bloomwood in me (I've been reading the Shopaholic series lately) spoke up and said "Natalie, you can't use these old Moleskine notebooks, the color is slightly distorted on the front! You need to go out and get new Moleskine notebooks!' Well, within a half hour of having that conversation with myself, I found myself at Target, where I happened across the PERFECT find for such a thing: WHITE Moleskine notebooks. A 2 pack.  Perfect! Then I thought, "hey, there's an extra one! You could make one for your maid of honor!" Of course, that was a brilliant idea! So, then I decided to make one for each member of the bridal party! I found a little 3 pack of pastel ones, and snatched them up!

So. Here it is... the "Tutorial":

What you'll need:
1) 2 pack Moleskine Volant notebooks (white)
2) 3 pack Moleskine Cahier notebooks (pastels) 
             (note: actual number depends on size of your bridal party)
3) Cute letters! I used ones I already had from another little wedding party thing I did, plus bought a couple new ones. Obviously they have these at Target or Michaels or wherever.
4) An understanding bridal party, because these haven't been tried & tested yet, and honestly some of the puffy letters might fall off.

Anyway, you basically stick those bad boys on the notebook, and voila! You've got your cute little notebooks.  Some suggestions how your girls should use them are:

-Lists.
-Appointments
-Dresses.
-How much they love/hate you depending on the day.
-Tossing in a drawer and never using, and finally throwing it out 3 years later.

Honestly, it's pretty versatile!  You can even put the date of the wedding on the back like I did! Though, be forewarned, there are surprisingly few numbers in a pack of letters, and since each date will be the same, you'll run out pretty quickly. So, buy a couple extra packs, or buy some all number packs. If you decide to do this, that's definitely the number one takeaway. Also, that puffy letters won't stick as well (especially to the Volant notebook) as flat sticky letters will.

Also, things that will not make a difference in whether your letters stay on/still look pretty: 

Gorilla Glue
Regular glue stick

Other than that, take a chance on these babies! They could be really cute, or your girls could end up with notebooks that eventually say 'DE M I D' - you never know until you try! Check out the pics, and maybe check back to see how they hold up. And keep an eye out for when I launch my new DIY blog "shit that's so easy, it might not work."

Backs of the Notebooks - date of the wedding!